Take A Walk!

So today I really felt like shit.

I woke up today at 6AM with Bonnie talking and screatching in our ears...

Andy shot up and sounded annoyed.. Changed her nappy and put her back to bed.

She played up again.

I didn't want Andy to be in a nasty tired mood..

I ended up watching 5 episodes of RARA The Lion on Cbeebies.

I thought I was going to cry.

Not because of the awsome program (now I have songs in my head from it),

But because I was TIRED,

Bonnie is wanting play-time and this isn't normal.

So she FINALLY had her bottle and I put both of us back to bed.

So hours went by..

I woke up YET AGAIN with her talking and scretching loudly in my ear.

"Andy, can you take her please?" I asked with my face still in the pillows

"Arugh. I'm doing my art." He says annoyed but takes her anyway..

I got a bit more sleep..

And I woke up to

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!"

OH for f*** sake.

So I got up and slung on anything I could find.

I got a bottle and gave it to her.

I felt like crap and really really tired (I don't know why?)

We ended up being lazy and watching TV.

I suddenly thought... I really need to do some exersise! ... But I can't be bothered.

Oh, yeah, big changes to my diet.

All healthy!!!

This morning I had porridge with rasberries! (very tasty).

This is because I went on a shopping day for bridesmades with my family.

We had to change

and change

and change

and change

Into dressess.. I don't like changing into clothes...

Especially not now!

Oh my god.

I looked like a whale in the mirror.

I hated looking at myself.

Roles flopping everywhere,

hair showing from where I haven't shaved,

Stretch marks that are STILL lingering,

and my Psoriasis patching up in new spaces which are virginal in that sense.

I had to wear size 16 dresses (I have always been a 10-12 so I felt really really big)

And the girls I was in town with are beautiful and thin.

I felt so low.

We finally found dresses!

But the only other size they had was a 12.

I said "I'll do it. I will get back to a size 12."

So I now have 5 months to shed two or more stone.

This diet will really make a difference.

So yeah.

I was thinking "shit, I need to excorsise and I'm having to get up and please madam every 5 seconds... Lets go out."

Right, take the carrier and lets go for a walk.

(When I mean 'carrier' I mean those fabric seat things that you can attatch to yourself... I'll call it kaolaing)

Got myself into something that is alright for human interaction.

Slung my hair up in a messy bun.

And went out.

I chose to go for a walk in the lanes and through the fields.

Since I've been watching Country File and WinterWatch I felt that it might cheer me up.

......

I was so right.

I could not suggest anything else other than take a walk in the nearest woods, country lanes OR beaches to help depression.

It was so so refreshing.

The air was brisk and sharp.

The folage on the embankment was dead twigs with new life breathing though.

Beautiful.

Newly mother sheep grazing with their lambs leaping to their mother's udder.

Beautiful.

The sounds of many types of birds singing.

Beautiful.

I am so lucky for where I live.

I went through the tree guided lanes that had muddy grounds.

And to compliment the walk,

The sites. The beautiful beautiful sites of Dartmoor and beyond.

So I'm doing it most every week.

If any mothers who aren't doing anything other than crying and feeling like crap,

Talk to me.

Come with me.

For those to know me.

A walk does cure everything.