Here's To Andy

This post is for Andy.

Thank you for being in my life.

So I would love to start from the beginning,

We like to say "We met at a Café" but truthfully, we met on Tinder.

I was very very poorly and we 'matched'.

Instantly he messaged me and CLICK

Our souls matched via typed words.

Then we met to have a coffee at The Rumpus Cosy and get to know each-other.

I was 5 minuets early at Drakes Circus...

I was so nervous, never have I been on a date with an Artist or a hipster looking chap.

What if he doesn't like me?

What if I'm not his type.

I saw him

He saw me.

Gulp, he doesn't like me (he gave me a look and I instantly thought he made up his mind about me).

Right, lets get this over.

Never have I spent 3 hours just drinking black coffee and red berry tea.

I have never honestly wanted someone to stay longer to know their story.

I knew, I loved him.

And a week later, we made it official.

He would work till 1-2am at the pub on the harbour of Plymouth.

Rakuda.

I would be sat with my housemates and walk down,

Passing all the drunk students and randy couples pissed out of their mind.

My aim - to get to the pub and waste no time with Andy.

After 1 or 2, he was all mine.

There were times when girls would flirt with him,

Oh god. I wanted to tare their hair out.

Those bitches.

Shit.

But they're good looking.

What if he runs off with them?

But he'd walk over to me and give me a kiss.

Oh their faces, I loved the look they gave.

Back off sister, he's mine.

We would listen to:

Kodaline (The One)

Boniver

Daughter

Damien Rice

Those songs remind me of that time.

The cold nights and snugged up in a small room with the record player.

Oh and we can't forget little Loki can we?

Your pride and joy.

I did like him Andy!!!

Then you introduced me to 'Contemporary Art'

It's f***ing weird.

But because of you, I saw things in a new perspective and now I love it.

I would go down and watch you make your art.

I miss KARST.

And then we found we were pregnant...

I honestly never thought I could have children and there I was, pregnant with his child.

I was so happy.

I was so so happy.

Until I got fat.

And depressed

and even fatter.

And we moved because of the fact that I wasn't happy.

I still feel bad about taking you from the City.

When BBC Spotlight comes up and I see that tower by the Hoe, I ALWAYS think that I'm evil.

You use to live there.

And now I'm tearing up...

I was constantly worried that other women would take your fancy.

And I would be on my own crying on my bed waiting for you to come home.

My anxiety was terrible.

I would worry you'd run off with an artist you'd be working with.

I'm such a twat.

And then when I was in labour,

You were there for me.

Holding my hand

Cleaning up my wee.

Wiping up my blood.

I don't think you could see me any worse than those 24 hours.

But seriously,

Thank you.

Thank you for being there for me

Thank you for loving Boniver

Thank you for being there when I have my mental breakdowns like I did 15 minuets ago.

Thank you for being with me when I'm pulling ugly crying faces because of something irrational.

Thank you for telling me I can make it.

Thank you for telling me I'm beautiful even though you know I don't believe it.

Thank you for loving me

Loving me for the fat lump I am

<3