It Isn't Just You

It's been 5 months since I last wrote a blog on here, and a lot has changed...

I am much much more open about my depression.

And between then and now, I have learnt a lot!

I started drinking wine a lot..

And if it wasn't for people pointing out to me that I have the signs of becoming an alcaholic then God know where I would be...

I've only recently been out on a Hen Due, and now I am alcahol free.

So thumbs up for me!

I am now on Citalopram 20mg, or my Happy Pills or my Mad Pills, which ever one you or I want to call them.

...

I still have my down days where sometimes (very very rare) I think the worst like I want to just die.

And I realised how important I am to my little girl.

Boniver and Andy are my rocks.

She has grown so much and is still growing up to be a happy and beautiful little girl.

The spirit I needed in my life to make me see the good side of life,

but the hardest part of that and being a mother, you want to hide all the bad and horrid stuff away from your children.

If I could, I would at a click of my fingers get rid of Nuclear weapons and terrorism.

When I had Pre-Natal Depression, I worried so much that my life would be a nothing, that I'm nothing..

But now the things I panic about and worry about are the things shown or spoken about on the media.

So THANK YOU CBEEBIES!

Thank you Cbeebies for letting me have you on from 7am-7pm and make my dughter and I happy when I can't hide my frown and anxiety because of the world today.

I am so proud of myself and of her,

She had a purpose on this earth, and that was to be my guardian angel, my conscience, my best friend.. my everything.